My eternal quest to make a non-pizza that tastes like pizza.

I’ve actually got a couple of things to share.  Some recipes for non-pizza pizza and pictures of poop.  I’ll save the latter for the end so you don’t leave before you finish reading the post.

First, pizza.  I really like pizza, but find that the stuff that tastes the best is typically pretty unhealthy.  Believe it or not, there was once a time that I would sit down with a medium or large Papa John’s pizza and eat almost all of it.  And then I dipped the crusts in that delicious garlic butter.  And if dared, I’d eat the banana pepper (which I call “pepperoncinis,” but apparently that’s not what Subway calls them).   Those days are long gone, but I still really like pizza. Thus my quest to find some sort of satisfying substitute for pizza.  Because quite frankly, I just can’t eat this, like, ever. (I know, I always tell people “Everything in moderation” but I often can’t bring myself to eat even this kind of stuff).

First up, the most pizza-like non-pizza pizza.  Trader Joe’s Whole Wheat Pizza Dough with Trader Joe’s Marinara Sauce (which is absolutely amazing if you’ve never had it) and part skim mozzarella OR 2% milk cheese.  If I have veggies around or already cut up, I’ll throw them on, otherwise, that’s it.  Since I only use about half the package of cheese ($3.99 at TJs) I figure the whole thing is less than $5.  Be sure to bring your Pam and Patience though because the dough can be tricky and really likes to stick to the bottom of the pan (if anyone has suggestions as to how to prevent this, I’m open to any and all suggestions).

(I can’t believe I don’t have a picture of this, I guess I will have to make this for dinner again soon).

Second up, if I’m really desparate, I will make what I call “Bread Pizza.”  This is simply a slice or two of bread (either OrowheatDouble Fiber or Light 100% Wheat), put some TJs marinara on it and sprinkle a little cheese over the top.  Put it under the broiler for 3 minutes (approximately) and viola! Pizza.

(again, no picture.)

Third, I’ve found this stuff called “socca”.  This site has a lot of socca variations, but I like to keep it simple.  Equal parts garbanzo flour and water (sometimes I’ll use a little more water, like 1 1/2 or 2 times the amount of flour), salt and a little seasoning (I love rosemary).  Let the batter sit while your oven/pan heat up. Pre-heat your oven and stick an 8″ round pan (metal only) that is sprayed with cooking spray in a 450 degree oven.  Once the oven is pre-heated (or about 10 minutes), pull the pan out and pour your batter into it.  It will sizzle a little.  Put it back into the oven.  Bake for about 10-20 minutes (it depends on how thick your batter is) and viola, a round piece of dough-ish stuff.  I usually invert the pan onto a cookie sheet (like you would do for an upside-down cake) and then put toppings on it (TJs marinara, veggies, cheese, etc.) and put it back in the oven for a few minutes.  Viola! Pizza.   I love the texture of socca and the flavor is really versitile.  I also love the fiber and protein that are packed in garbanzo flour.  I found Bob’s Red Mill garbanzo flour at PCC for like $2.50.   There is also Certified Gluten Free G-bean flour, but it’s at least twice as expensive.

Last but not least, my latest non-pizza pizza discovery, from Foods of April.  I modified a couple of things, but was really excited about the result.

  • 2 c diced, peeled eggplant,
  • 2 scoops of TJs Soy Protein (plain),
  • 3 egg whites,
  • 1 Tbsp flax meal,
  • fresh basil leaves,
  • one clove of garlic,
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • dash of salt

Put it all in the food processor and turn it on.  It processed for a couple of minutes (I wanted to make sure it was all combined) and spread it out (kinda thin) onto a cooking-spray greased cookie sheet.  I put it in a 400 degree oven for 12 minutes, and then removed it, added some TJs marinara sauce, a little ham, some leftover roasted veggies and a Laughing Cow wedge (good idea, April!) and viola! Pizza!!!!

After I ate half of the pizza, Brian and me decided to take Lil’ G for a walk around the hood.

(By the way, she is more of a breadstick/crust girl)

Guess what we found?

If you can’t tell what that is, it’s a giant BEAR turd.  Yep, I can’t think of any other animal whose poop would look like that.  Plus, we saw the paw prints in the grass (we think it walked through the construction dust of one of the new houses being built).  Crazy!!

Gertie kept trying to sniff/eat the poop.  It was gross.  Almost as gross as me posting a picture of bear poop on my website.